You need to work on your grammar before you do any more writing.
You have a misspelled word, along with sentence fragments, and a possessive not marked.
While your story may be an interesting one that you wish to tell, very few people (in my opinion) will want to wade through such issues.
Master grammar, go to writing workshops, read more extensively, and practice. And after you have finished doing all those things, practice some more, read some more, and study the basics of grammar again.
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