Thanks for all the caring words everyone, they do help.
I know a partial reason why I am in this state right now. My former surgeon was treating me like a "seeker". Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there that are legitimately seekers, and many of them die, including a lot of celebrities. Because of this the government steps in and dictates to health care how much of whatever they can prescribe under what circumstances. After the injury to the thigh was finally diagnosed (but not treated! ) and I asked for more pain killers, the doc said he would only give me a very few and referred me to a pain management clinic on the mainland. I didn't immediately rebel as I thought, well ok, maybe it will be tools like hypnosis, acupuncture and so on, and the docs there would take on the medication part. I couldn't have been more wrong! It was a rehab clinic! And even better it was out patient! And over 50 miles away! And there was no such thing as being late. I was boggled, called his office back, told him what the deal was, and his attitude was basically, yeah? So? You're going to have to learn to live with the pain.
It wasn't until I spoke with one of the nurses at my insurance company that I was referred to a pain management clinic. So pita that it is, I take an hour trip each way and get the drugs the government is so afraid of.
Yeah, it sucks
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