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The moment you want a system that provides password protection (which is a good idea) that will limit your options. It probably limits you to using systems that you have some level of direct control over.
Is there any reason why you do not want to use Calibre's built-in web server running on a home PC and expose this to the internet? That server provides password protection as a standard feature. That would be by far the easiest to implement but it does require you to have a machine permanently running on your home network that is capable of running Calibre (albeit only the server component).
Perhaps clarifying exactly what are the limits on the type of solution you want will help give better/alternative advice in this area.
In terms of iOS apps, the one I would recommend is Marvin as this is OPDS aware and also one of the best iOS reader apps. Calibre also has some specific Marvin integration features in terms of plugins that are Marvin specific. If you want to use a reader app that is not OPDS aware, then you can use an app like eBook Search to handle the OPDS side of it for searching an OPDS catalog and initiating the download of ebooks before handing them off to the desired reader app. There are, however, a number of good and viable alternatives.
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