[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

...except that he said that they got their way decidedly more often and much quicker, just by asking or talking, instead of exploding to pieces if something wasn't to their liking. That's not massaging an ego. That's mature, rational methodology to reach satisfactory-to-both-sides solution to a problem.

Right. By getting to the same exact "decision" in a non-confrontational way? And who said that the Dutch woman 'exploded,' exactly? Other than saying (as reported, mind you), "no?" "No" is an explosion?

It is precisely this mindset; that Western women are trained from childhood to manipulate (yeah... manipulate. It's the correct word for 'handle,') controlling rather than working together for a balanced end result that results in a win-win situation, that makes Asian women so much more attractive in a relationship. As you said, you've been trained on how to manipulate men from childhood. Asian women are trained to discuss both sides of an issue and resolve it without needing to control others.

Umhmm. Because that's not happening in that scenario. She's not "handling him." LOL. Having a direct conversation isn't 'controlling someone.' Having to have a "discuss both sides of an issue and resolve it [without hurting the man's ego]" conversation is...NOT manipulation? So, according to you, when I say "no" to my husband's question about X, I'm being controlling and manipulative, but if I went through a boatload of gyrations, so that he could think that the outcome was as you described, "working for a balanced end," that's not manipulative? MWAHAHAHAHA. Yes, someone around here has been "well-trained," indeed.

Again, these are generalities. I'm quite sure there are plenty of Western women who weren't trained as you were, just as there are plenty of Japanese women who feel the need to dominate.

Right.

I've decided to bow out of this discussion, as I can't see it going anyplace good.

I'll end with this: I was once with a lawyer who was regaling me with stories as to how he and his manly-man son had gone to a "dude ranch," and how they'd both had such dreadful issues getting those danged horses to obey. I told him that he might want to think about why women are equestrians more often, and more successfully, than men, generally...it's because women spend their lives getting large, dumb potentially-dangerous animals to do what they want, and they do it by getting them to think it's their idea.

This is why women are so good with horses. (I'll bet the horse thinks it's a balanced outcome, too.)