Quote:
Originally Posted by Katsunami
The fact that a lot of men call their wife "the boss" or "the accountant" or "my banker" or similar terms behind their backs, accompanied by a sneer stamped on their faces says enough, IMHO. Personally, I'd not stand for it and quit the relationship. It's clearly lopsided, or one would call the woman "my partner", "my wife", or "my girlfriend" and be proud of it.
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Behind their backs? Are you serious?
Trust me, my husband calls me 'The Boss'
all the time--and if you think he means it, you're on drugs. And he certainly doesn't do it "behind my back," I hear him say it on the phone, to his sister, to anyone else...and he's called me
a lot of other things, as well, many of them a lot less complimentary, and some far more. In moderately equal and comfortable relationships, this is NORMAL. (And I call him that, as well, mind you, when I'm on the phone with someone, or chatting.)
I recall being appalled when (back in my riding days), I'd hear a woman say she had to
ask her husband
if she could buy something--a new saddle, new gear, whatever. Now, THAT is horrifying. Calling someone "The Boss" or whatever--that's simply the way that
grown-ups relate. Any time that anyone in a relationship has to beg for money from the other, you have an imbalance of power. It sucks, but that's the truth. Nobody ever likes to admit it--saying that whatever they've done is "different," but just as in the "real" world, he who makes the ducats in a relationship has all the power and all the options.
If people want truly egalitarian relationships, then the bottom line is, they both need to have enough money (however attained) to be able to walk out. That's "marital equality." Anyone who claims differently is fooling themselves on one side or the other, particularly in May-December (in either direction) situations with serious income inequalities included.
As far as how your girlfriends have treated you: perhaps the fact that you even have a mindset of "
girlfiends" and "
girlbosses" (and the fact that you find it sooooooooo reprehensible) should be taken into account when you look at the women (or girls) you've asked out before. And your example discussions? Both women got
the exact same result, except woman #2 massaged your ego. She HANDLED you. Women have been HANDLING men since the dawn of time. You want to be handled? I'm sure that there are thousands of Dutch (and other) women that are perfectly happy to do that; trust me, we all know HOW. (We're trained on how to do it from childhood.)
Fortunately, you have billions of women out there to choose from; so you can find one that suits you, I'm quite sure.
Hitch