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Jumping late into this thread, but I would have to say that some of the book series listed here are really more military sci-fi than space opera, particularly the Honor Harrington series.
As a general rule, I consider it Space Opera if it is set in a universe where the stakes are higher than in most other science fiction novels and the setting is grand. The enemy doesn't hvae to be immensely old, but it helps. I agree with the idea that Earth is probably at best a minor player.
I will add to the list the Revelation Space series by Alastair Reynolds.
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Bill
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