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Well, all that history and expectations are true, but as a genre, it has to be defined with a broader scope because there ARE readers who like romance, but don't look for that definition. I'm one and I guess HarryT is too!
And the biggest problem is that not everyone reads the books (they can't read them all) so when they are shelving, they have to take their best guess. There are readers of one of my books who consider that particular book romance. I suppose it is compared to my other books because the romance plays a much larger part. But I don't classify it as romance first because of a lot of the points you make. I only get to choose two categories per book. It will always be an issue because as a reader, I classify romance much more broadly that Harlequin. As a writer, I also classify it more broadly--and that isn't to gain sales or marketing, it's because I have to pick the two best categories available.
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