Regulating is going to happen whether the government plays a role in it or not. Since there is a huge concentration of power in the Internet market, the businesses who wield that power will regulate their own services if the government doesn't step up and do so themselves. Now if internet service providers were just that, it probably wouldn't be a huge issue. They may discriminate between traffic from different content providers, but they could provide equal opportunity for preferential access to those content providers. (Note: I said could, not would. Exclusive deals would wipe out any notion of equal opportunity.)

The thing is that many of those internet service providers are media companies or have other interests in the communications industry. This creates a conflict of interest. An ISP is unlikely to grant preferential access to a third party that offers VOIP services if the ISP offers their own VOIP service or mobile phone service. If internet service provider does provide preferential access, the fees that they impose ensure that the third party VOIP service isn't competitive with their own products. A similar argument can be made for media companies.

That is where regulation must kick in. Now the regulation can take many different forms. It can state that there is no discrimination based upon the type or source of traffic. It can permit a "fast lane", but ensure that there is equal opportunity to access that fast lane by forbidding discrimination of any form (including fees and exclusivity). It can even break up companies to ensure that there is no conflict of interest. Perhaps it would consider multiple approaches.

But the fact is that free markets and deregulation does not work when there is a concentration of power. At best you are shifting power from one entity (the government) to another entity (private enterprise). At worse you are shifting power from an entity that has some public accountability (i.e. government) to an entity that has virtually no public accountability (typically a monopoly or oligopoly).