[gmw]

Comments about the second part:

Spoiler:

"... taken me for a fool and was messing with me." -> "... taken me for a fool and were messing with me."

"... before he could offer anything to my father's soul," -> "before he could offer anything for my father's soul," ???

"What?? That's ridiculous." -> one question mark would be enough.

"Here comes another headache, I thought, "Oh, what contract?"" -> "Here comes another headache, I thought. "Oh, what contract?" You need the fullstop, otherwise people may think the dialogue is thought (because some stories do quote thoughts).

"... renew them to help you," I said, "is it some ..." -> "... renew them to help you," I said. "Is it some ..." (Another place that _needs_ the fullstop.)

"One day, during the hours of twilight, ..." We get to this point and it seems that much time must have passed ("One day"), and yet the narrator was so impatient just a bit earlier that he couldn't even wait until "tomorrow".

There seemed to be a lot of details in the second part that didn't add anything to the story, and a certain level of disjointedness to it. I guess that fits without it all coming out as a dream, but it does get in the way of staying involved in the story.

Comments about the third part:

Spoiler:

"Rice balls? For what?" he asked. -> you need to tell us that "he" is Mr Zant, because it's not obvious here (the last man to talk was the priest).

Comments about the end:

Spoiler:

"... your father would be returning from the market ..." -> "... your father will be returning from the market ..."

"... he'd be in special hurry ..." -> "... he will be in special hurry ..."

"... "Father'd be returning??" -> "... "Father will be returning??"

The above are all within dialogue, so maybe it is usual for these characters to use "would" instead of "will" in such cases, but if it is not a deliberate accent then they should be corrected.

The story has become clearer to me in this new version and I think the ending works better now than it did. But I think there is room to smooth it out more. Work on your punctuation (don't be frightened to use fullstops/periods occasionally ).