Don't get me started on pshrynks as protrayed by Holywood!
Oh, well, since you insist...
1 - i don't spend hours on end with neurotic, whiney patients. I spend a lot of time with severely suicidal, nearly immobilized patients and severely psychotic patients.
2 - I don't have a corner office in a high rise on Manhattan where I do (1) above, and nothing else.
3 - I don't have an office filled with books and busts of Freud in the hospital where I do nothing but psychotherapy with said, neurotic, whiney patients. I see them at bedside for about fifteen minutes a day.
4 - I don't keep patients in hospital for looooooong stays. My average length of stay is about 4.5 days. Infact, no where do you find patients in a hospital who have been there since the Truman Administration unless they are severely psychotic and totally refractory to meds.
5 - If someone is refractory, I do not allow them to wander around the unit being crazy at the world in general. We have meds that can help, even if they are not totally effective.
6 - I am not unethical, so I do not a) sleep with my patients, b) sleep with my patients' relatives, c) sleep with the nurses or therapists who work for me (other than my wife, but that's okay.) d) give massive doses of tranquilizing medications to neurotic, whiney patients who are having a bad day, or e) misdiagnose and treat just because I'm a pompous choom.
7 - I am not crazier than my patients. I am not psychotic. I especially do not eat my patients.
and 8 - I cannot read your farking mind and do NOT do free psychotherapy at parties.
But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
