[gmw]

My first reaction was: cute!

It has a nice feel to it all the way through. I'm not sure what I expected for the ending ... that wasn't it, but it fits very well. A good length for the story, and for the most part it stays far enough away from the technical to be easy reading.

As with your last one, I stumble a little over some of the punctuation, particularly early on, but not in a way that spoiled it for me. On a subsequent read I'll look for more specific items.

Spoiler:

I'm not suggesting a change here, just making a comment from the perspective of _science_ fiction (ie. a comment from someone that doesn't think things like Dr Who and the Star Trek spin offs are really science fiction - they're fantasy created to simulate science fiction). I like the idea of the dual nature Krub, ant-like when separated, individual when joined. But the size/count distinction doesn't seem to fit well with this dual nature - it should take more members to make that difference.

OTOH the distinction obviously isn't quite so marked as ant vs sentience - since the bumbling balls seem to have something more ... so maybe it works, and without making the story considerably longer you're not really going to be able to give us a better explanation.

And again I find I'm not offering much constructive criticism. The story is what it is, and I think it's done well for what it is. It feels like a snippet from something larger, but remains satisfying on its own - and these are both good things.

Spoiler:

After writing the above, I read arjaybe's comments. I didn't really have a problem with the descriptions around Marie's death, nor with the sudden ending. I think the ending has to be fairly quick, and I think the last half-a-dozen paragraphs cover the decision quite well. There may be room to smooth it a bit more, but it's something you will have to be careful with.