Quote:
Originally Posted by radioflyertoo
A devaluation of my pastry, not happening! Please tell the Pirate Ninja squirrels, I bought them off with virgin walnuts and they agreed to lend me their slave squirrels for the process. And the roosters! Whom do you think laid the eggs so they would have that fine creamy texture and unbeknowst to MontsnMags Cybernetic Surgeries I paid for those laser implants. I bribed, cajoled or otherwise convinced all parties to the pastries to participate. Now Pastries are $2.00 instead of $1.25. 
Cheers, (may your day be as gooey as mine) |
It doesn't work that way, pet. There is no differentiation - a squirrel is a squirrel is a squirrel. The "Pirate Ninja" bit isn't a sub-species, but just a reasonable analogy used as a descriptor to enable lesser animals, like hominids, to get some kind of grasp of the mad evil skilz that squirrels have. The slave squirrels who allowed you to use them as a culinary device were only doing so to present a sufficient humiliation that they felt justified in your impending torture (they're evil, but fair...and by fair I mean "not at all fair, like, run-up-behind-you-with-a-cricket-bat-and-smack-you-over-the-back-of-your-head-before-feeding-a-very-angry-and-hungry-ferret-into-your-jocks type unfair). You "paid" for the surgeries only insofar as you just paid the roosters, who, as mentioned, are always angry and who now have lasers in their eyes courtesy of you, to arm themselves and then come back and relieve you of your purchase. Roosters and hens, armed with laser-eyes and nanotechnology and the ability to
at least duplicate themselves every day via their ovumous abundance. Roosters and chickens are the voraciously pecking Von Neumann Machines of your galaxy, which is why the Pirate Ninja Squirrels use them as infantry, which is why you came into contact with the roosters in the first place. Also, as High Gibbonate to all Galaxys' Gods, CEO of MontsnMags Enterprises and Armourer of the Multiverse, and as Giver of Time-Independant Parties, I'll just mention that as of several billion years ago 97% of all Galactic Courts have confirmed my copyright, trademark and outright ownership of "pastry" in any form (including its utterance), and so, basically, every pastry you have made not only belongs to me (at the very reasonable price to me of $free), but by my reckoning on royalties and court costs, you owe me a sum of guineas, cents, pennies, and farthings of a such a total that it could only be obtained if you have the ability to convert those other stubborn 3% of galaxies into base metals through implementation of a Runaway Supernova Outbreak within them, and, seeing as I have already done this and factored away the resultant clinking-of-coinage into the backroom-safety of a wing of my intra-brane Party Palace (a.k.a.
Chateau Pompette), I am wondering (by which I mean, smirking arrogantly and monitoring the hordes of Pirate Ninja Squirrels, roosters and angry-and-very-very-hungry ferrets that are currently rushing towards your position) how you propose to pay me.
A free pastry would be nice.
Cheers,
Evil-Marc ("When you've got them by the nuts...")