[gmw]

Originally Posted by Graham

Spoiler:

In Katsunami's story, clearly we need two different ways of deliming thought. One for Elani, and one for when she hears Lady Ariana. Italics work well for the latter, and I'm comfortable with putting the brackets round them as well. That immediately gives the sense of it being a separate event inside Elani's head.

Spoiler:

I'm not sure that element (the goddess speaking in her mind) is a good idea - except possibly at the very end. When it occurs earlier it becomes obvious that the goddess is speaking with her and nothing after that is any sort of surprise. It's unclear how much of a surprise it would have been anyway, but those italicised thoughts remove all doubt.