Quote:
Originally Posted by arjaybe
Good. I'm glad it's disturbing.
Spoiler:
Within a reasonable margin, you're right about the ages of Annie and Sissy, and about the size of the family. I don't even know exactly how many there are.-) I suppose there are times when the mother forgets.
What does the Jazz stand for; old vs. new? - Yes. To highlight the modernity of the city compared to what Annie was used to. It would be enticing to her, but its artificiality might be a warning sign to us.
Do I understand the raven correctly, to be some sort of "bird of doom", appearing when Annie thinks about Sissy, the significance being that Sissy is actually evil in some way? - You do understand. I'm using the raven as a messenger, to remind Annie of her people's traditions. Sissy isn't evil, but we know that following her won't be good for Annie.
Whispering/tingling, the forest and "her people's past - The land is sacred to Annie's people. This is what the raven is trying to remind her of. If readers get this while reading it, that's good, but I don't mind if it takes a while for it to sink in.
Thank you for your careful reading. |
You're welcome. I see I was on the right track, but should have thought harder.
Spoiler:
Old Jazz vs. New (machine) Jazz == dynamic, swinging, with spirit vs. static, perfect, soulless.
The forest vs. The City == nature, flowing, harmony vs. Encroaching humans, buildings, stone, rigidity.
Annie wants to follow Sissy into the city, and the Raven appears as a bird of doom, triggering the whispers, dreams and images of forests and nature, saying to Annie she's going into the wrong direction, and the city is not her heritage.
This can be gleaned from the story.
The one thing I would suggest is that you suggest to the reader that the forst/land is sacred to Annie's people. When I read that, combined with the "heritage of her people", the first thing I thought was: "Could Annie be an American Native/Indian," or an adopted child? Could her mother be a Native American that discarded her heritage and moved into the city?