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arjaybe · 03-11-2014, 01:38 PM

Thank goodness we have Graham. Now I can just read his critiques and toss in a couple of tidbits.

Spoiler:

The relationship between Elani and Koryna is fine. I understand your portrayal of service and humility. I don't think you need conflict between them.

I can't comment on the fantasy and RPG connections.

When I read it I thought the "nearly avoided" was a typo for "neatly avoided." That's what you really meant, right?-)

Jim

03-11-2014, 01:38 PM	#90
arjaybe Wizard Posts: 1,073 Karma: 12500000 Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Okanagan Device: Sony PRS-650, Kobo Clara	Crisis of Faith Thank goodness we have Graham. Now I can just read his critiques and toss in a couple of tidbits. Spoiler: Rather than pass out and wake up later, saved, Elani could muster one final burst of magic that helps Marlena defeat the lich, but doesn't save her. The relationship between Elani and Koryna is fine. I understand your portrayal of service and humility. I don't think you need conflict between them. I can't comment on the fantasy and RPG connections. When I read it I thought the "nearly avoided" was a typo for "neatly avoided." That's what you really meant, right?-) Jim Last edited by arjaybe; 03-13-2014 at 05:10 PM. Reason: to apply spoiler tag