Thread: MobileRead Short Story Anthology - [DISCUSSION & REVIEW]
View Single Post
Old 03-11-2014, 11:44 AM   #86
Graham
Wizard
Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Graham ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Posts: 2,742
Karma: 32912427
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: North Yorkshire, UK
Device: Kobo H20, Pixel 2, Samsung Chromebook Plus
Crisis of Faith
Regarding Elani's parents:

Spoiler:
Whoops, sorry. I'd missed/forgotten this bit:

"after my parents died in that accident... after the horse and cart went over the side of that cliff south of our village"

That probably means that it needs a bit more weight in the story. You'd have a chance to build on this in the new graveyard scene, which means that Elani wouldn't need to say this to Marlena (which is basically telling Marlena something that she already knows so that we as readers can find out).


Graham
Graham is offline   Reply With Quote