[Graham]

Originally Posted by arjaybe

I think this is a complete story. All that's left is any tweaking you want to do.

Thanks.

Originally Posted by arjaybe

The Mate was going to fix AND-E's arm, but you didn't give her time.

Spoiler:

Yes, I realised in that last edit that she'd have to do that repair after leaving the bridge and before getting to the descent vehicle. So I put in a weasely one line of dialogue, hoping that would solve it. I'll see if I can shift things a little to make it clearer that she has time to do this and give AND-E a face.

Originally Posted by arjaybe

The POV switches are okay.

There's one niggly one that bothers me, but if you went through it without noticing it I'm probably worrying too much:

Spoiler:

Satisfied, she lifted the lid.

The Geologist was a Mark IV Android Expert System, Explorer Class; designation: AND-E. Humanoid, but machine-distinctive. Unlike the Mate and the Captain, designated DEP and CAP, it could not pass for human. Normally, it would never have needed to. Perhaps they could keep it out of sight so that its robot features wouldn’t jeapordise the mission.

***

The part I've put in bold is actually omniscient narrator. The rest is limited third person. However, to put that line from the Mate's POV I'd have to write this as "Unlike herself and the Captain, it could not pass for human". It would be tricky to get the names DEP and CAP placed in this way, and I wasn't sure 'she' had been established sufficiently to get away with the 'herself' at this point.

Regarding the ending:

Originally Posted by arjaybe

Spoiler:

I like how you slowly revealed their true nature, giving us enough to get it ourselves before the end.

I got a sense of the futility of their charming earnestness. Yes?

BIG SPOILER - PLEASE DON'T OPEN UNTIL YOU'VE READ THE STORY:

Spoiler:

Yes.

I suppose it's an absurdist story, rather than being really about the action. I see poor humanity never getting out of the solar system, but our creations going on to take the best part of ourselves off to fill the galaxy. And being a bit rubbish at it, but really trying, and so in the end being pretty human themselves.

Graham