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Old 03-09-2014, 05:52 PM   #44
arjaybe
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Posts: 1,073
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Okanagan
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Planting the Flag

I think this is a complete story. All that's left is any tweaking you want to do.

The Mate was going to fix AND-E's arm, but you didn't give her time.

The POV switches are okay.

Spoiler:
I like how you slowly revealed their true nature, giving us enough to get it ourselves before the end.

I got a sense of the futility of their charming earnestness. Yes?


Jim
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