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arjaybe · 03-09-2014, 05:52 PM

I think this is a complete story. All that's left is any tweaking you want to do.

The Mate was going to fix AND-E's arm, but you didn't give her time.

The POV switches are okay.

Spoiler:

Jim

03-09-2014, 05:52 PM	#44
arjaybe Wizard Posts: 1,073 Karma: 12500000 Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Okanagan Device: Sony PRS-650, Kobo Clara	Planting the Flag I think this is a complete story. All that's left is any tweaking you want to do. The Mate was going to fix AND-E's arm, but you didn't give her time. The POV switches are okay. Spoiler: I like how you slowly revealed their true nature, giving us enough to get it ourselves before the end. I got a sense of the futility of their charming earnestness. Yes? Jim