MobileRead Forums - View Single Post - Silliness Friday's question of the Day 03 Oct 08

LazyScot · 10-17-2008, 02:42 PM

<cut back to the military control room, that despite the recent audio encounter with the President, has managed to retain its air of calm and sanity. Aided by the arrival of the coffee and doughnuts trolley.>

"Right, we've got the go for whatever we need to do. If we can find a base, I want to be able to eliminate it in minutes—the ground attack can go in later to mop up. Get a suitable task force airborne, and equipped for any eventuality. Include the ability to take out a deep bunker, and see if we can get any of the remote rollers. Keep all options open – I don't want to go nuclear if we can possibly avoid it, bu--" said the commander, the interruption causing an expression of resigned, expectation.

"Ma'am," said the space liaison officer. "Fred is ready to evacuate. They have the initial target in one capsule and the crew is in another. But they are reporting a new hostile target that has deployed ARTs against Fred. We cannot get any radar fixes on this new target, but have it via the external cameras on Fred."

"Right; get them all down. See if you can bring them down to the same site as the F-22s so they can be evaluated. And I don't expect arguments over non-water landings. I know those capsules are capable of it, even if they occupants might get somewhat bruised."

"At once. Shall I order the marines to try and take out the new target as well as the ARTs on Fred?"

"Yes—No! Wait. You said that Fred had limited manoeuvring ability?"

"Yes, some, but---"

"Okay. What is the new target doing?"

"Difficult to tell, but it looks like it is moving after the capsule holding the first—"

"Excellent. We have control of the first capsule?"

"Yes."

"So we have some bait, control and a baseball bat called Fred," stated the commander.

"Ma'am, you can't. Fred is---"

"Just a bunch of overpriced fancy metal and plastic. If the F-22s are right, I've lost people on my watch. I have blanket Presidential authority. If I can save lives of my people at the price of a rejected extra for a Star Wars movie I will. Do I make myself clear?"

"But the first target is on…"

"Exactly. Either it's theirs, in which case we take it out, or it got us into this mess and should damn well get us out of it. Now, are you resigning?"

"Yes Ma'am. I mean no Ma'am. I mean I'll see you orders are carried out." And with that the officer started a very animated dialogue.

10-17-2008, 02:42 PM	#39
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	<cut back to the military control room, that despite the recent audio encounter with the President, has managed to retain its air of calm and sanity. Aided by the arrival of the coffee and doughnuts trolley.> "Right, we've got the go for whatever we need to do. If we can find a base, I want to be able to eliminate it in minutes—the ground attack can go in later to mop up. Get a suitable task force airborne, and equipped for any eventuality. Include the ability to take out a deep bunker, and see if we can get any of the remote rollers. Keep all options open – I don't want to go nuclear if we can possibly avoid it, bu--" said the commander, the interruption causing an expression of resigned, expectation. "Ma'am," said the space liaison officer. "Fred is ready to evacuate. They have the initial target in one capsule and the crew is in another. But they are reporting a new hostile target that has deployed ARTs against Fred. We cannot get any radar fixes on this new target, but have it via the external cameras on Fred." "Right; get them all down. See if you can bring them down to the same site as the F-22s so they can be evaluated. And I don't expect arguments over non-water landings. I know those capsules are capable of it, even if they occupants might get somewhat bruised." "At once. Shall I order the marines to try and take out the new target as well as the ARTs on Fred?" "Yes—No! Wait. You said that Fred had limited manoeuvring ability?" "Yes, some, but---" "Okay. What is the new target doing?" "Difficult to tell, but it looks like it is moving after the capsule holding the first—" "Excellent. We have control of the first capsule?" "Yes." "So we have some bait, control and a baseball bat called Fred," stated the commander. "Ma'am, you can't. Fred is---" "Just a bunch of overpriced fancy metal and plastic. If the F-22s are right, I've lost people on my watch. I have blanket Presidential authority. If I can save lives of my people at the price of a rejected extra for a Star Wars movie I will. Do I make myself clear?" "But the first target is on…" "Exactly. Either it's theirs, in which case we take it out, or it got us into this mess and should damn well get us out of it. Now, are you resigning?" "Yes Ma'am. I mean no Ma'am. I mean I'll see you orders are carried out." And with that the officer started a very animated dialogue.