Well ... I just returned from a suicide mission ....
1. Last night I discovered to my horror we had forgotten to purchase Pillsbury Grands for Xmas dinner
2. I set out to drive to the nearest grocery store [it's Xmas Eve day]
3. I avoid rear-ending a UPS truck that slams on its brakes in front of me, stops in the street, then backs up to turn right into the driveway it just passed ... all without putting on any turn signals or blinkers
4. I continue ... to a full parking lot ... circle around and park finally next to the milk supply truck parked on the periphery.
5. Inside is packed - everyone talking at the tops of their voices on cell phones as they stand still in the aisles.
6. I locate the Grands and race to the "Self Check Out" station ... where a nice lady is just finishing her purchase. [All the check out lines are miles long.]
7. I scan the tube and attempt to pay ... whereupon the machine freezes and blinks "Call Manager" at me.
8. Bravely I hit the "Cancel Transaction" button and try again ... and again ... and again...
9. Recognizing that the station's computer is in a loop, I get in line at the regular check out.
10. When it's my turn to check out, I foolishly mention to the lady that their Self-Pay station is frozen ....
11. Whereupon she leaves her register, runs over to the frozen station and begins punching in codes ... to no avail ... and then insists that I return and check out my Grands ... which of course doesn't work b/c the computer is in a loop.
12. She calls the manager, who pulls up screen after screen of Executive Command interfaces .... all the time ignoring my comments - I identified myself as an IT person and described the loop situation to her -- and told her that the only solution was to power cycle the unit.
13. Meanwhile, the check out lady FINALLY allows me to check out my one tube of Grands.
14. As I exit the store, I see the manager still punching in codes that aren't working .... I'll bet that if I returned now she would still be there arguing with the interface.
15. So, I hike back to my car and start to exit the parking lot ... whereupon a Ford Taurus suddenly backs out of a parking space without looking and nearly T-bones me ... we exchange seasonal gestures
and I continue on my quest to arrive home in one piece with the blasted biscuits.
16. I get in line to exit the shopping center - there's a divided exit lane for L/R turns. The front car plants itself firmly in the middle, blocking both lanes, without any turn signal giving the rest of us a clue as to their intention ...
17. After presumably finishing their important phone call, the car finally turns right ... allowing the rest of us to exit the shopping center.
18. I arrive in my driveway, caress the Grands and whisper: "I've never had such an adventure for $1.92 in my life!"
So ... think I should venture out again to pick up a prescription this afternoon?
