I think it reads fine. Not really grim at all though this part seems a litle rough.
Quote:
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One day, there was a beautiful singing. It was the sirens, mermaids who some say lure sailors to their deaths with their songs.
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maybe something like:
Quote:
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Into the lives of the fish one day came the beautiful sound of someone singing. It was the song of the sirens, mermaids who some say lure sailors to their deaths with their singing.
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Just a suggestion of course. Feel free to use it or not as you wish.
