Quote:
Originally Posted by Prestidigitweeze
I once wrote a book that a fair number of people on Goodreads didn't like, but that same book also won an award. I concluded I'd had decent luck with the book and left the Goodreads reviewers alone.
If I needed to be liked, I could write another book tailored to that end. If the strategy didn't work, then I'd walk away. Why invite people to associate my name with self-importance and stalking that results in infamy?
If you read a review of your book which you conclude was written either by an idiot or someone with a vested interest in hating you, then that's one more reason not to try to engage them.
I've always favored Epictetus's response to criticism: "He must not know me well, or else he wouldn't have complained of those faults alone."
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Absolutely. Great post.
I do understand that an artist might feel hurt as a first reaction to seeing negative remarks and reviewers are not always moderate in criticism. And although I could easily revert to the many flavours of "suck it up", I still empathise. But one thing I learned in business applies everywhere.
Type out your response if it's therapeutic in some way, but then pause, re-read, delete, rewrite, pause, take a break, come back and repeat the process until you're absolutely happy that you've got it out of your system. Then delete the message without sending and move on.
I have ended up developing much stronger and productive relationships in my work life by not letting that need to react, that emotional response, dominate my interactions. And I don't feel submissive or whipped - I actually feel more in control of the situation.
Mind you, it's a lesson I had to learn the hard way.
