About 3 years ago, I edited a book of memorable first sentences to books that don't exist. (It's available here in our Library.)
I think it's time to put together another one. That first book was a huge amount of fun for me, with many members joining with hilarious contributions and wild imaginations.
You'll post your sentences in this thread, and then after a period of time has gone by I'll select the ones that I feel represent our contributors' best efforts. At that point, I'll close the thread and work on making the book available here.
Here are some examples from the first book, to give you an idea of what it was like:
Her legs were perfect and they were perfectly placed, and that made me wonder where the rest of her body was located.
— Dr. Drib
John wrote stories because of a lifelong interest in entertaining and enlightening people, but unfortunately for him readers found his work neither entertaining nor enlightening.
— mjh215
She had the kind of face you see on an embalming table where the bullet hole is barely visible, unless you bend down real close and kind of squint your eyes up tight, like you’re looking down a rifle-barrel when you’re robbing someone and accidentally pull the trigger and the person falls over, upsetting a display of carbonated drinks that then scatter all over the floor, and the people are all screaming and blood is thick everywhere on the floor as more commotion leads to more chaos, with a kind of domino effect that continues on out into the street as people run around the parking lot like chickens with their heads cut off, clucking and screaming insane things, really bad things, their faces agitated and their eyes on fire with fright, like the corpse that you’re looking at right now on the embalming table, the one you killed, as if the eyes can still remember what the mind no longer comprehends – that kind of face, you know what I mean?
— Dr. Drib
Somehow, kneeling trussed-up in a huge cooking pot, over a roaring flame, was not what I had in mind when the tribal chief told his comely daughter to take me home and entertain me ‘missionary style’.
— Ralph Sir Edward
That should give you an idea of what that first book was like.
Upon publication, all rights will revert back to the original contributors.
The artwork on that first volume was not very good, so perhaps an
artist of exquisite renown [a MobileRead member
] could contribute something more worthy of the contents.
Well, what do you think? Are you game for a second volume?
Your priceless prose will be ONE sentence in length (and of whatever length you need to write your masterpiece. See the examples above). You can make as many contributions as you wish.
Dr. Drib