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The Insultasarous must warn you, this writer has dust bunnies for writing skills or maybe for brains.
The Adventure of Billy and Joan (never to be published)
Joan Tittlewink's was wearing her pekinese dress for a first date with Billy Haverherinsack thinking this was an Ozzie and Harriet and not a fumble fest.
Billy arrived at Joan's in his Gibbonater Mark III coupe with the transmigrater option.
Billy strode upto the door and knocked. Joan open said door and noticed Billy's button down shirt and perfect fit genes, while Billy silently gasped over her very tight thin sweater and then took a peak at her knees and higher. They were both in treed.
They both wondered what the night would bring.
That, however could wait - first stop was diner for a filibuster but the counterproductive was stulified over the mesa on the tableland. Eventually the counterproductive managed to clean the tableland and got menus.
After studying the menu Joan said to the counterproductive "I'll have the Llama stew with a sideorder of whisleberries and vegimite salad. Also bring me a pinkerton fizz with lime."
"You gots it" said the counterproductive.
Billy still sorta gasping said " I'll have roasted squirrel with crankberries, a side order of green potatoe lionase and vegimite salad. To drink, I want a pint of Bloaters Burpie beer.
"Yiper" said the counterproductive.
Dinner did not go well. The Devil's Sinisters at the next table were whoopsing it up and generally being undisgestive.
Bill said to Joan "Ignore them they act like oxymorons after to much winesap".
After an inorderly period their meal came and it was disgustabutt. The stew was congealed, fur cover the whisleberries, the crispy critter was the squirrel and the vegimite salad spotted. The drinks, however, were good. Billy commented "the Barcode is good"
Joan agreed.
Stomach revolting, eyes a bulging they did not eat, just finished drink, payedout and left.
Outside Sinisters were eying the Gibbonate Mark III with lecherous eyes. Billy not wanting trouble hit the remote and transmigrated Joan and himself right into the car and sped away.
Joan asked Billy "Can we go to the Drive In." Obviously Billy not believing his luck said "Yes but of course" not realizing the main feature was Lassie does Rin Tin Tin.
Joan knew.
Billy when they got to the drivein started to get nervous when he saw what was playing. Joan just smiled and said, "Lets go in"
So in they go.
Seeing the sweat on Billy's face, she new he was a nativity and smiled again. Thinking this might be fun little did she realize her fondue would end in discombobulation.
The movie started and boy was Lassie good, Rin Tin Tin didn't have a chance (and you thought this was going someplace else didn't you?) Lassie saved the day.
But Joan being a tense put her hand on Billy's genes causing his biddle'd'bopper to rise. Billy then put his arm around Joan to start the fondue but when he bent over he gave her a slobbery blunderbuss -not exactly what she expected.
Now we get to the good part ................................
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