[alansplace]

“After you,” Thomas said, and then he calmly stripped his shirt off.

I eyed him.

“The club has an image they strive to maintain,” he said. He might have been just a little bit smug, the bastard. His abs look like they were added in with CGI. My abs just look like I can’t afford to feed myself very well.

“Oh,” I said. “Do I need to take my shirt off, too?”

“You’re wearing a black leather coat. That’s wardrobe enough.”

“Small favors,” I muttered. Then I went through the door.

--------------------------------------------------------------

“How could I come to Chicago so many times without meeting you?”

“But I’ve seen you,” I said. My voice was a little rough, but it worked.

“Oh?” she asked, the sexy smile widening. “Are you the sort who likes to watch, Harry?”

“You betcha,” I said. “And that time, I was watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”

Her smile faltered a fraction.

“You are Jessica Rabbit, right?” I asked. “All slinky and overblown and obvious?”

The smile vanished.

“Because I know I’ve seen you somewhere, and gosh, I’ll be embarrassed if it turns out that you were the evil princess from Buck Rogers instead.”

“What?” she said. “Buck what?”

--------------------------------------------------------------

“Sir,” said the guard from behind me. “I’d appreciate it if you left your club here.”

I paused and looked over my shoulder.

He had a gun. His hand wasn’t exactly resting on it, but he’d tucked his thumb into his belt about half an inch away.

“It isn’t a club,” I said calmly. “It’s a walking stick.”

“Six feet long.”

“It’s traditional Ozark folk art.”

“With dents and nicks all over it.”

I thought about it for a second. “I’m insecure?”

“Get a blanket.” He held out his hand.

I sighed and passed my staff over to him. “Do I get a receipt?”

He took a notepad from his pocket and wrote on it. Then he passed it over to me. It read:

Received, one six foot traditional Ozark walking club from Mr. Smart-ass.

“That’s Doctor Smart-ass,” I said. “I didn’t spend eight years in insult college to be called Mister.”