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Old 08-02-2013, 12:46 PM   #13
gmw
cacoethes scribendi
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I seem to come to a different decision each time I look at it . As noted in post #3 above, my original version actually used "knew" - past tense, matching the "was" is both clauses. (It got changed over accidentally when I was writing the OP.) With that in mind, it is more apparent that one way to rephrase the sentence would be:

Abby was gone, and who knew where Bill was now?

(A question mark seems necessary here.) If you tried to use "knows" in this version it would be obviously wrong: "Abby was gone, and who knows where Bill was now?" It would have to become "Abby is gone, and who knows where Bill is now?" - and it wouldn't fit the context very well (self pity is mostly past tense, it seems to me).

The above version avoids the need for hyphens, but I am not thrilled with it becoming a question, it's not a question in the character's mind, it's a defeated acknowledgement that he doesn't know and can't find out.

Looking at the two variations of my original sentence next to each other:

Abby was gone, and Bill was who-knew-where now.
Abby was gone, and Bill was who knew where now.

I think I can see the real benefit in the hyphens. Without them that second clause in the second sentence could (at a stretch) be interpreted as: Bill was the one that knew where Abby had gone. The hyphens make the intention more obvious, I think. (I may think differently when I look at it again tomorrow.)

I'm glad not every sentence gives me this much trouble. There's a 150,000 words in this second novel!
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