Quote:
Originally Posted by gmw
I did consider completely splitting in the clauses, but it doesn't read as smoothly in the paragraph that this comes from. The emotional connection is intended - he's missing his friends. I think that in the larger context the meaning is clearer. (The reader has just come from Abby's departure, and knows what is happening to Bill from a previous scene.)
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I'm with you. I think the expression you chose--organically, as said above--conveys just what you wanted.
I'm a fan of the hyphens because it immediately communicates the expression. Without them, the the reader (well. this reader at least) is drawn to assume "Bill was who..." is leading in something totally different: "Bill was who he most needed to speak to?" Bill was who knows best how to handle this?"
I would guess the lack of hyphens, and the resultant need to take a second to reparse "who-knows-where" as the expression, is why it seems awkward to some. If that sentence were spoken allowed, it would not seem awkward at all.
Let us know what you decide!