[MissKittiness]

Dear Kingsley (that's what I've named all my e-readers),

I think it's time we saw other people. We had a great run with each other, we really did - but, like so many couples, we've fallen out of love. I used to love the way you would make a 2,000 word book appear weightless in my hands, the way your leather cover was so sleek and elegant. I loved the way you had a little reading lamp with you all of the time. We had so many great times together, when I couldn't decide what to read and you gave me hundreds of options. You've been a magnificent companion, a brilliant friend, better than any I could have asked for, but eventually your flaws began to grate on me...

You've always felt like a gadget - I loved that at first, because you gave me "new toy fever", but it's grown old over the months. I don't want to be tethered to gadgets when I read. You don't feel like paper; I don't have a tactile experience with you, and you don't smell as good. I've always worried about using you at the beach or in the tub, and I've never been a fan of glad bags - it makes you even less tactilely appealing. Even when you learned how to display book covers, I never felt as though I was gazing upon a beautiful collection of books - not in the same way that I feel when I'm looking at my book case. You made me forgetful of what I wanted to read next, you made me feel lost, overwhelmed.

I feel ashamed to tell you that I've been cheating on you with the bookstore. I never meant to hurt you, and I truly didn't think we'd ever fall out of love, but I bought a paper book, and I went to a coffee shop. I think you've been suspicious ever since I didn't take you out of my purse that day at the coffee shop, haven't you? It was because I was reading on paper. I'm sorry, Kingsley. The experience I've been having with my paper books has been one that you had made me totally forget - and it's so good that you made me forget the past, but sometimes we relive it for a reason.

I know that you'll find love again. I know that there are hundreds, thousands of others out there who don't view these "flaws" as flaws at all - but rather as perfections. I'm sorry that I need to do this, but we really do need to see other people. I hope you can forgive me for putting you on ebay. Rest assured, when the time comes to ship you to your new lover, I'll package you with care. I really, truly never meant to hurt you.

Apologetically yours,

Miss Kittiness, cruel lover