I recommend
War for the Oaks by Emma Bull. It is not necessarily a non-violent book, because it is about the faerie war and there is one huge battle that takes place.
But it is considered a precursor of urban fantasy before it was even known as that. (book is from '87)
It also features a strong main female character, something your wife might enjoy?
Here's the synopsis:
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Eddi McCandry has just left her boyfriend and their band when she finds herself running through the Minneapolis night, pursued by a sinister man and a huge, terrifying dog. The two creatures are one and the same: a phouka, a faerie being who has chosen Eddi to be a mortal pawn in the age-old war between the Seelie and Unseelie Courts. Eddi isn't interested--but she doesn't have a choice. Now she struggles to build a new life and new band when she might not even survive till the first rehearsal.
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