Quote:
Originally Posted by BearMountainBooks
In the case Caleb describes, it sounds like that author overdid the description. Instead of one or two strong sentences, the description lost the punch because it hovered over it too long. Once pointed out, the author could probably fix this sort of thing without an editor. Just a case of reading through and cutting lines here and there to keep the pacing intact and the "punch" of a smell or unexpected sight, etc.
Sometimes when this sort of thing happens a beta reader will say, "It drags here, but I can't tell you why."  It about kills a writer to hear that, especially when the writer is trying to deliver tension before the big scene, but generally speaking it's pretty easy to fix. Cut half the lines and you're there.  |
I think anyone who isn't a professional editor (or beta reader) would be a saint to go through all the passages like this and point them out.
My dissection of this passage alone was several paragraphs. And I didn't think this one was that bad.
