Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitchawl
Rant Mode: On
My rant for Thailand:
It's very common for older single men to retire here. It really is a society that caters to 'all' the wants and needs of single men, especially those with some money. And it doesn't have to be a lot of money. If a Thai college grad working in an office earns $30-$40 US dollars a week it's considered a good salary. A young uneducated woman is lucky to earn $20 USD a week working in a shop.
There is also no cultural stigma about December/May marriages here, so it very easy for an older Western (read: rich by local standards) man to hook up with a young Thai (read: poor) woman who needs to find a way to feed her parents and grandparents as well as herself. Hooking up with a western man is better than becoming (or continuing to work) as a bar girl. Somebody in the family has to earn enough for rice.
So an unspoken contract is made; she treats him like a King, and he provides the rice... for everybody in the extended family unable to provide their own. This might mean paying school tuition to keep younger sisters and brothers in school after age 16, pay for a new water buffalo for her father if the old one dies and they have to eat him, as well as maintaining a home for the two of them... until she get's pregnant, (then it's for the three or four of them) which they both try to do as quickly as possible because there is nothing quite as important to a Thai as family, (it's the first question asked when meeting new people socially; how many children do you have?) and to the old man's sense of masculinity. "See? I can't still make babies!"
No problem so far...
But... the guy is 65-75 years old. By the time the child is 10 years old, the father is usually getting ready to shuffle off this mortal coil. Children don't get to grow up 'playing' with their fathers. Dad's too old to run and play 'tag,' or often even play 'Catch' with a ball. Can't throw because of the arthritis in the shoulder...
I see so many children growing up without fathers here. It's very uncommon for a child of mixed parentage to have a father by the time they reach 15. Yet every time I go out, I see another December/May couple, with a proud papa pushing the baby carriage because he's too old to carry the baby in his arms. It's certainly their right to do so, but personally I don't think it's fair to the children.
Rant Mode: Off
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There are some celebrity couples like that in the U.S. but I guess those families would have less trouble with support after the father dies than the ones you're talking about. Actually a good friend of mine, who is a year older than me, had a risky in vitro at 39 and had a little girl. Well and good but her husband, who is fifteen years older than her, was starting to think about retirement. She, herself, is not that young and has the same medical condition I do (and which necessitated the in vitro and made it risky). There are worse conditions and she takes care of herself but she is now 41, the child 2. There is a good possibility the little girl will lose both parents by 25. Anyway, not as bad as what you are talking about