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English is not my native language, but I think that the first version would be perfect with 'that' in the following line (because of the syntax):
The voice in her brain felt like it was dying - / draining in strength along with the dark blood /
that leaked from her freshly opened leg-wound.
I don't see the mixing of tenses, it is all written in the past: felt, was dying, (was) draining, leaked. And don't leave the dash. What follows explains how she feels it and this explanation belongs to the first line. A comma would separate it.
The second version has too many -ings: dying, draining, leaking.
George
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