[DixieGal]

Originally Posted by radioflyertoo

" And F was sitting down for.....

.... a Mythbusters marathon with a big bag of cheese curles and a 2-liter bottle of caffiene-free diet Pepsi when the phone rang.

"Rats!", he thought, "Now I have to put my shoes back on and get up from here, since I seem to have left the phone receivr in the bathroom."

Grabbing the phone, F quietly shouted around a mouthful of cheesy orangeness, "Hewwo!" into a dial tone. They hung up before he got to the phone!

Taking the phone with him back to the living room, he once again shed his shoes. One flopped down hard enough for the downstairs neighbors to hear. The other shoe bounces silently off the first shoe and landed gently onto the rug, therevy leaving the neighbors to wonder when the "other" shoe would fall. F sprawled out on the sofa again and began to graze. Whadda ya know, you really can make a bomb with soda pop and pop rocks!

The phone rang again. Leaving a smear of orangey goodness on the phone cradle and receiver, he answered. On the other end of the line was a panicky but still beautiful Stringbean.

"F," she spoke in her husky come-hither voice, "I have a problem. A polite Lizzard broke in on me while I was in the shower."

"Lucky Lizzard!," exclaimed F.

"Not really. My perfect physical condition and training kicked in when he flicked his poisonous tonguye at me, and I yanked it so hard tht he nearly turned inside out. No exaggeration, he's lying here in the foyer with his tail hanging out of his mouth. The Gizzard he was carrying is ruined, so I will have to find another Lizzard. He said his name is Excelsior. What can your moles tell us about him?"

In a haze of confusion, F replied, "The big hairy mole on my back isn't talking today. Did I tell you it is growing an eye? But let me ask around. Maybe one of our usual informants knows something about this Excelsior."

*******************************

Pundit, having super agent training, sensed/smelled/heard Stringbean's consternation. Having been in love with her since he was a puppy, he was acutely attuned to her at all times, almost like a psychic link. However, since he wasn't psychic, he knew it was up to him to get Asp over to their former home to investigate.

"Bark Bark!", he barked, which he did sometimes when he got excited.

"What is is, Boy? Is Timmy trapped in another transdimensional well again?" asked Asp.

"No, you goof, we have to go home. Stringbean's in trouble!", Pundit barked in Glactic Standard this time.

Running across the parking lot in slippery shoes, Asp and Pundit (who wore rubber-soled sneakers) leaped in the car via the windows, like Bo and Luke Duke. Slaping the blue strobe light onto the roof of the car and blasting trhe siren, they peeled rubber out of the parking lot.

They were almost to Stringbean's house when suddenly, a little old lady and a kid on a bike began crossing the street. Pundit, the driver this time, swerved but sideswiped a passing bus of orphans being transported to the free clinic for vaccinations. The bus could not straighten up and right itsef, so instead it rolled over twice and landed in the river. However, the kids were securely belted into their seats, which would upside downo and therefore above the water line, so nobody was hurt and only had to unfasthen their seat belts and wade to safety.

Pundit continued to swerve, but after bouncing off the orphan's vaccination bus, was able to regain control of the car. That's some pretty fancy driving for a dog! Lots better than that armadillopuss driving the bus did! At last, skiding into Stringbean's driveway, they crashed to a stop against the garage door.

"That shoudl keep them from getting out through the garage," deduced Asp.

Entering the foyer of the alleged crime scene, they saw .....