[JDK1962]

I'd like to boldly suggest a moratorium on all book titles of the form The <profession>'s <relation>. It has become, as Morpheus would say, a splinter in my brain. Plus, it makes me think any writer who deliberately uses it now is a tool.

Let's go to the phones, shall we? Let's take "wife" first. An far from complete list:

The Doctor's Wife (1864; 1976; 1978)
The Rector's Wife (1991)
The Pilot's Wife (1996)
The Magician's Wife (1997)
The Astronaut's Wife (1999)
The Samurai's Wife (2000)
The Prisoner's Wife (2000)
The Captain's Wife (2001)
The Sniper's Wife (2002)
The Mapmaker's Wife (2004)
The Saddlemaker's Wife (2006)
The Zookeeper's Wife (2007)
The Senator's Wife (2008)
The Diplomat's Wife (2008)
The Dopeman's Wife (2009) -- don't ask me what a "dopeman" is. I'm not going to read it.
The Pastor's Wife (2009)
The Witch Doctor's Wife (2009)
The Centurion's Wife (2010)
The Sea Captain's Wife (2010)
The Baker's Wife (2011)
The Soldier's Wife (2011)
The Shoemaker's Wife (2012)
The Sultan's Wife (2012)
The Governor's Wife (2012)
The Reverend's Wife (2012)
The Anatomist's Wife (2012)
The Aviator's Wife (2013)
etc...etc...etc...

(I have avoided books in the above list that are close, but not actually professions, e.g. Time-Traveller, Werewolf, Traitor, Tiger.)

Ok, as Willow famously said near the end of Season 6, "Bored now." Let's move on. Daughter?

The Captain's Daughter (1833)
The General's Daughter (1992)
The Ringmaster's Daughter (2000)
The Bonesetter's Daughter (2001)
The Memory Keeper's Daughter (2005)
The Preacher's Daughter (2005)
The Wedding Planner's Daughter (2005)
The Bishop's Daughter (2006)
The Gravedigger's Daughter (2007)
The Witch's Daughter (2008)
The Virgin Queen's Daughter (2008)
The Musician's Daughter (2008)
The Apothecary's Daughter (2009)
The Calligrapher's Daughter (2009)
The Concubine's Daughter (2009)
The Merchant's Daughter (2011)
The Rock Star's Daughter (2011)
The Baker's Daughter (2012) -- bet she was rolling in dough...sorry, couldn't resist...
The Bloodletter's Daughter (2012)
The Kingmaker's Daughter (2012)
The Tutor's Daughter (2013)
etc...etc...etc...

("Virgin queen" seemed like an actual profession, as opposed to say "demon trapper" so I left it in.)

Note in both cases that the use of the form speeds up as indie publishing kicks in.

Ok, really bored now. "Husband," "Son," "Uncle," "Aunt," and "Father's Brother's Nephew's Cousin's Former Roomate" are left as exercises for those who are really, really, really trying to find a purpose in their life.

My point is that, if I see a title of that form, here, now, in 2013, my thoughts are best summed up by another "Spaceballs" reference, spoken by Dark Helmet, upon hearing that the combination for the planetary defense system is 1-2-3-4-5:

"That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!"

So...if YOU are an author, and you have the urge to name your book The <profession>'s <relation>...for the love of god, please don't. Please. Take a walk around the block, or a high colonic, or something, and think some more. A little civilization, that's all I'm asking for here.

Coming soon: my rant on jackass authors who feel they simply have to give their magnum opus the exact same title as an existing (very famous) book because "it just couldn't have been called anything else." Not even talking about Dan Brown here...I mean, no one in their right mind looking for DanTE's Inferno will accidentally purchase DanBROWN's Inferno....