Quote:
Originally Posted by BeccaPrice
Should the catchy dialog be from the first story, or can it be from any one?
how about this: [...]
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I like it. I was just starting to think it was a little long and not catchy ... and then the zing. I think it works.
I don't think it matters which story the excerpt comes from, the point is to try and catch the readers attention, and if possible display the mood/style of your story telling. Your sample appears to do that.