Quote:
Originally Posted by BeccaPrice
for a short collection of fairy stories:
What does a princess do when a dragon moves into her kingdom, and everyone says that dragons eat princesses? Part Paperbag Princess, part The Reluctant Dragon, all it's very own story. A Princess for Tea is one of these charming fairy stories, geared for bed time reading. 9000 words and approximately 40 pages total
Can I call my own stories charming?
|
I don't read fairy stories but here goes.
I think your first line (What does a princess do when a dragon moves into her kingdom, and everyone says that dragons eat princesses?) is great. Just the kind of line that would delight and intrigue a child.
Comparing your story to others I'm not so sure that works. The 'this is a cross between...' might work when submitting to literary agents as a time-saver and genre-finder, but I'm not so sure it would work with ebook buyers. It might seem a little lazy (like 'he was a dead ringer for Leonardo Dicaprio') and, as was mentioned, not mean anything to the reader, and it might seem like you're trying to have a little of the greatness of the other stories rub off on your own.
You've got a great story. The first line sets it up perfectly. Sell us something else from the story. Maybe a great line from it. A line that shows how clever the princess is as she anticipates dealing with this problem. But it doesn't have to be that. Maybe you show a conflict point.