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where in the name of all-powerful and cranky evil elders is cthulhu when you need him ??? because i am hoping that if i bat my eyelashes at him he will devour (slowly, with extra pain) every last one of the godforsaken crackhead drunken sadistic monkeys responsible for scheduling flights and managing online reservations, since i've just spent my entire evening (and a good part of the night) wrestling with online reservations trying to find flights which will not make me 1. arrive at the airport at 3 in the g*dd*mned farking morning (as if that were even materially possible) (or sleep overnight there either, i'm not even sure which is worse) 2. spend SIXTEEN FARKING HOURS to get to toronto from paris (it's 8 hours away !!! what the hell are they doing with EIGHT FARKING EXTRA HOURS ???? are we just flying around in circles up there ? do we head east instead of west and take the long way around ???? that's eight hours of my LIFE for god's sake) 3. ruin definitively my already slim hopes of having ANY MONEY AT ALL left over to eat or pay rent for the next few months.
i first found one flight which looked like it would be convenient. but then like an idiot i tried to look at the *other* flight (i have to schedule FOUR FARKING FLIGHTS FOR THIS WOEBEGOTTEN TRIP THAT I REGRET EVER AGREEING TO) to see if they would work together, and in the interim the first flight disappeared.
and then there were no more decent flights AT ALL for those dates so in desperation i started looking at other dates and lo ! i actually found a flight that was BETTER than the original one (if we don't count the fact that it was the wrong dates and more expensive, that is, and that i have no idea whether the still hypothetical flights 2 and 3 would work with the flights 1 and 4 i had found).
so i got out my visa card, and i filled in all my info, including my credit card number, and the three digits from the backside of my credit card, and the date of expiration, and i clicked "i permit nouvelles frontières to debit my visa card" and it smiled smugly and replied "we're sorry, there has been an error, and we were unable to complete your reservation. please call us at this overtaxed number at your earliest convenience with this 15 digit internet dossier number and this other client number and this other hyper-long id number and we'll see if we can figure out what the problem was and sell you probably a completely *different* ticket at even worse dates and preferably three times more expensive." (okay so that last bit wasn't actually in the error message but i'm sure it was implied.)
i swear to god it's a good thing i don't have some kind of evil genius death ray because right now i would KILL ALL THOSE SADISTIC BASTICHES WHO RUN THE AIRLINES AND THE TRAVEL AGENCIES AND PLAN THOSE INHUMAN SCHEDULES EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM DEAD DEAD DEAD (but really slowly so they would suffer like they make me suffer, first) !!!!! AAAAARG !!!!
and on that deeply frustrated and infuriated note i am GOING TO BED.
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