Quote:
Originally Posted by vivaldirules
Dear Dr. Bad Advice,
I have a bone to pick with you. I asked you once how I should treat my new ebook reader and you told me to take care of it like it was my most treasured possession - or did you perhaps say you thought my t-shirt was possessed? So, anyway, I buried it in the backyard next to my favorite pigskin chew toy - man, those things are dynamite especially after they've gotten all gooey and dirty and have cured a tad. So, anyway, yesterday I dug up my reader and now whenever I go to read my favorite ebooks Harry, Ron, and Hermione always turn out to be pimply little pubescent twits with complexes of divine omniscience. What have you done?! Please help.
Signed,
P.O.'d
|
Dear P.O.’d:
I can truly understand your position, but only one ebook Reader is so bad it truly merits early burial. It would be in very bad taste for me to tell you which Reader that would be. I see you have the Sony PRS-505. Well, as I said, it would be in very bad taste for me to mention that Reader.
As an aside to your story, there was a report today of a
missing middle-aged woman in Texas who has been missing for 3 days. Oddly enough, authorities discovered a Sony PRS-505 lying on the floor next to the sofa where the woman read
Manga comics,
Neal Stephenson novels, and the cult ebook classic “
The Alien Ravishment of Roselyn.” Authorities were stunned to discover such horrible taste in reading material from such an older woman.
“I would expect this from teenagers and those crazy kids who frequent ebook websites,” one detective said, and then added: “Especially that Neal Stephenson crap.”
“It’s all crap, if you ask me," another official admitted.
“Worse than crap. What I think is, I think it stinks,” yet a third official chimed in, popping his chewing gum with authority.
Mysteriously, the Reader itself was in perfect working condition, although its whereabouts is currently unknown. It is thought that one of the detectives from the designated crime scene is testing the unit for any clues...
However, getting back to your predicament. This is my best bad advice to you: Simply take your PRS-505 out of its cover and put it in the freezer and leave it there for at least one month. This is guaranteed to exorcise any demons from your Reader.
WARNING: You should use extreme caution with the ice-pick when chipping away any ice that may have formed on your Reader. However, if your hand does slip and damage occurs, call Sony and tell them that the screen cracked while you were reading the device. They may also be of assistance in helping you dial with your one undamaged hand.
Signed,
Dr. Bad Advice.