Quote:
Originally Posted by BookishDreamer
Dear Dr. Bad Advice,
I'm a member of a reading group. Last week we met to discuss a new book. I was so excited to show them the ebook version and how nicely the reader fit into my purse compared to the large and thick hardcover book they all carried. During the discussion I had a little trouble keeping up because they referenced page numbers that didn't match my ebook, but overall I think the reader performed satisfactorily and I didn't really need to look at the pages because I knew the story well enough. However, I was disconcerted by the reactions of my fellow readers. One lady was appalled and said that my ebook reader was naked because it had a plain black cover rather than the garish picture of an anatomical impossibility that her book depicted. Another woman derided my inability to easily locate a specific page and paragraph location. This morning I received an e-mail saying that I've been ostracized from the group because they feel that my exotic choice of reading media created a stressful atmosphere and inhibited the discussion of the selected novel, "The Alien Ravishment of Roselyn".
What should I do?
Miss Numbered N. Bare
|
Dear Miss Numbered N. Bare:
I understand your predicament entirely!
Thank God, there are only six different genders on this planet or there’d be real confusion!
I have a number of suggestions, although each suggestion may introduce a whole series of concomitant problems to your predicament.
1) The first suggestion is to buy a larger purse in order to carry more ebook Readers. What is the logic of this? you may ask.
Well:
If you bring a large number of ebook reading devices to your discussion, then you can have each device on a different page. Although somewhat unwieldy (and perhaps costly, since ebook readers now sell for $597.00), you would be able – by example – to show them how unwieldy a hardcover book can be, especially when you hit them over the head with it. Would anyone in his right mind, I ask rhetorically, want to carry
Neal Stephenson’s tome,
Anathem, around with her, for example? Of course not! The question itself is patently ridiculous.
2.) You could buy stickies of the alien anatomy and tape this SKIN to the back of your reader. Just make certain that what is taped to the BACK of the device actually represents the FRONT of the alien anatomy. A simple mistake could lead your whole discussion group down a path that few would want to trod and may actually endanger your health.
3) I was fortunate to read Roselyn’s autobiography, "
The Alien Ravishment of Roselyn.” In fact, I recently met with Roselyn, who lives in Roswell, New Mexico, before she died. I spoke briefly with her, but I was unable to learn much from her due to her wandering mind.
I discovered, however, that the 87-year-old was very exact in her description of the aliens when she described her ravishment 2 years ago. On this one point, her mind was very sharp.
“They wanted me,” she concluded. "Hehehehehe."
I was about to ask her what she meant, but she promptly fell asleep.
I hope this helps with your discussion group.
Signed,
Dr. Bad Advice