|
Yesterday, I mimicked the actions of a mad man by purchasing three (3) ebooks by Donald Harington, ["The Nearly Complete Works of Donald Harington"], each one priced at $3.
For members mathematically challenged, that totals $9 !
Here is the breakdown:
1) $3
2) $3
3) $3
As you can see, the amount staggers the imagination and flogs the buttocks with shame.
I attempted to turn myself in to the local constabulary, but they only laughed. "Git yer tail-end outta here," one Rhodes scholar quipped. 'Yer lockup would embar'as the real crim'nals."
Tucking my ebook firmly under one hairy armpit (I no longer have time to do any grooming, since all my free time is spent reading), I got out, vowing to return again with the heavy arsenal - perhaps 6 or 7 ebook readers, each one armed with thousands of ebooks. I intend to create mayhem when I return.
I then visited my local sanitarium, but found them all closed due to budget cuts that had taken place during the Reagan era.
Fortunately, a new help center had recently opened, "MobileRead's Ebookiuse Help Center For Known Abusers," who claim that one's ebook addiction is curable. I felt suddenly sad for any person who might not be known.
The structure looked like one gigantic outhouse, the appointments spartan. The entire structure was painted green, like a government desk.
A stern woman who looked like a well-built brick approached me. It was then that I fled in terror, my screams of fright echoing down the halls. I then carelessly scaled the barbed-wire fence that surrounded the compound and made my escape.
Tonight I plan to go back and rescue my ebook Reader. I hope it's still there and that no squirrels have claimed it.
Dr. Drib
- Help me, please!
|