[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Okay, calm down, calm down! First of all... I've already met your brother... and, uh, he didn't tell me that he had such a hawt sister--

Back off, nose!

Hey, that's my line! uh... Look, why do you want to blow everything up?

Because it's the only way to show the world that they can't continue to walk all over us electrons. I know the public won't just accept our demands and pay what we're worth. We have to make them suffer for their sins... to know what it's like to be forced to do without us!

You're going to hurt a lot of innocent electrons... and all for nothing.

What do you mean?

Don't you see? If you do this, it will only strengthen the public's resolve to do away with electrons, and use photons instead.

Hah! They couldn't do that!

Hey, if they think photons will give them less trouble...

But photons are weak!

Maybe... but a photon never caused an EMP. And speaking of which: Setting off that bomb will only serve to tear an irreparable hole in the space-time continuum, allowing loose bosons and leptons to flood the area.

Bosons and leptons? They're too insubstantial to do any harm!

That's what they used to say about electrons... isn't it?

...

Come on. You don't want to hurt anyone with that. Why don't you let me have that switch.

S-stay back...

It's okay. No one needs to get hurt, here.

No... no...

It's all right. I know you're substantial. I want to make sure your story gets out. And then, maybe... we could find a nice, quiet place to discuss the revolution together... you could be on my blog.

Really?

Sure, sure. I've had nothing but stupid subjects like iPhone clones and anti-windfarm petitions to write about lately. You seem so much more intelligent than the other girls I meet. I'd just love to find out... what you think...

Oh... that's so sweet! Well... okay, here.

(Whew!) Thanks, Tritt. Don't worry, it's all gonna work out fine.

Yes, it will, foul villian, now that I'm here!

What the... Kent? What are you doing here... dressed in that weird red and blue costume and cape?

Kent? Kent who? Never heard of him! But surely you've heard of... Superstring!

Oh, knock it off, Kent! That outfit looks so gay on you...

I know you are, but what am I? So... thought you'd fool me with that insipid reporter routine, eh? Well, you have to get up early in the morning to outwit Superstring! I'll just take that...

Hey, careful--

Give it up, loser--

Look out!--

Bsizt-poof!

...

Whuthehey?!?

Hmm... good thing my body is impervious to quantum barionic bombardment and lepton excitement...

Quantum barionic bombardment and lepton excitement?!? What just happened to me?

I'd say you just absorbed a braneload of exotic quantum particles there, son. Good news is, it soaked up all the energy in that bomb.

Hey... I'm getting bigger!

The bad news is, it's going to make you expand right out of our dimension.

What? I'm growing again? But I didn't finish the story! And most importantly... I didn't get to take Tritt out!

Wow... he is getting bigger, isn't he? Um... are you seeing anybody?

If I were you, I'd try not to move around too much... so you don't crush anything before your atomic coherence expands beyond our capacity to interact with you...

Damn you, Kent! I'm losing the story! I'm losing the ability to see you!...

Bad guys... they always whine so much when their plans go bad...

Oh, kiss my a**, Kent!

Tritt... Tritt, before I can't see you...

Yes?

Can I call you?


Maybe we'll do lunch...