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I don't like the looks of this. The atmosphere is charged around here, and I think a serious storm is brewing above. Electrons are moving in clouds, many of them dancing in circles or spinning in place. I can see neutrons and positrons running for safety, though many of them are being inadvertently sucked into the maelstrom and bounced about like billiard balls.
Mr. Valence... don't get too close!
Secretary Trino! Do you know what's going on out here?
Yes, I do... damned reactionaries! Always blowing things out of proportion at the worst possible time!
What is it?
I've seen this before. Someone's trying to set off a cold fusion reaction.
What? I thought that was only theoretical?
Yes... but there are many plans available for cold fusion bombs on the web, and I'm afraid someone's gone and built one.
So, what will happen?
I've no idea. No one's ever managed to get one to work before. The last one I saw doused everyone in a nine-block radius with water.
Oh. That's not so--
On the other hand, one went out of control and started a fission reaction. Before it was contained, every electron for 20 miles was hit with an EM pulse. Some of them are still in rehab.
Oh...
Personally, I've never seen that shade of purple in the sky before. Other than the fact that it's kinda cool, I don't know if that's a good or a bad sign.
Is there anything that can be done?
Just one thing I can think of. See that manhole cover over there?
Yes... should I be under it?
No, if I were you, I'd be it. Maybe if you wish hard enough, God will take pity and turn you into one before it's too late.
...That's your advice?
Yeah, pretty much.
You want me to just back away from what may very well be the most important story of my semi-sort-of-professional career, and just hope to God I get spontaneously turned into a manhole cover and not get hurt, not to mention passing up any chance for a Pulitzer, Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Orlando, or Dawn in the process?!?
Umm...
Well, frak that with extreme unction! If I'm going down, I'm going down fighting!
H-hey, where are you going?
I'm gonna get to where the action is, and show people that the real power is in the media! Back off, sparky... I'm with the press! Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiiiii!!!
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