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Steven Lyle Jordan · 09-04-2008, 04:34 PM

Konichi-wa. This is Cole Valence, reporting for anyone who'll pick up this feed. I'm outside a building in downtown Metropolis, where we have been informed that at this moment, the members of the Universal Electron's Union is debating going on strike.

According to their press release, the UEU... pronounced yew-ee-yew, oddly-enough... has convened this meeting over the ongoing controversy concerning their status as physical elements. They contend that they are treated as... and I quote, insubstantial, non-existent objects by the public and by their employers, resulting in the denial of employee rights, health-care benefits, unemployment compensation, due process under law, the option to relocate to other quantum levels of existence to seek better employment, and bathroom breaks. Uh, unquote.

This status also negatively reflects on the products that electronics create, such as electronic files. Many have contended that, as electrons are insubstantial, so are their products, and therefore have no rights or status under the law. Whereas even creatures as tiny as Whos have been recognized as beings deserving of rights, the electron has been consistently discriminated against and denied the same basic rights. The UE sees this as unfair and unconstitutional, and they seek redress for this slight visited upon their members.

The UEU is presently considering their options, after which, they plan to hold a vote. If the vote is upheld, it could mean a general strike by all members of the UEU, which would affect all businesses and subsidiary systems that employ electrons to get things done. It would also affect all privately-owned devices, natural and artificial power source and transmittal systems, lights, communications, magnetics, and the cover of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album.

Oh... oh, there seems to be... yes, the doors to the UEU headquarters are opening, and some of the UEU representatives are flowing outside now. I'm going to try to get a word with one of them, to see what was going on in there...

09-04-2008, 04:34 PM	#1
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	The Electron Strikes! Konichi-wa. This is Cole Valence, reporting for anyone who'll pick up this feed. I'm outside a building in downtown Metropolis, where we have been informed that at this moment, the members of the Universal Electron's Union is debating going on strike. According to their press release, the UEU... pronounced yew-ee-yew, oddly-enough... has convened this meeting over the ongoing controversy concerning their status as physical elements. They contend that they are treated as... and I quote, insubstantial, non-existent objects by the public and by their employers, resulting in the denial of employee rights, health-care benefits, unemployment compensation, due process under law, the option to relocate to other quantum levels of existence to seek better employment, and bathroom breaks. Uh, unquote. This status also negatively reflects on the products that electronics create, such as electronic files. Many have contended that, as electrons are insubstantial, so are their products, and therefore have no rights or status under the law. Whereas even creatures as tiny as Whos have been recognized as beings deserving of rights, the electron has been consistently discriminated against and denied the same basic rights. The UE sees this as unfair and unconstitutional, and they seek redress for this slight visited upon their members. The UEU is presently considering their options, after which, they plan to hold a vote. If the vote is upheld, it could mean a general strike by all members of the UEU, which would affect all businesses and subsidiary systems that employ electrons to get things done. It would also affect all privately-owned devices, natural and artificial power source and transmittal systems, lights, communications, magnetics, and the cover of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album. Oh... oh, there seems to be... yes, the doors to the UEU headquarters are opening, and some of the UEU representatives are flowing outside now. I'm going to try to get a word with one of them, to see what was going on in there...