Thread: Silliness Escape Committee
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Old 09-01-2008, 05:15 PM   #357
LazyScot
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Posts: 3,201
Karma: 6895096
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
Device: Kindle, Cybook
"Oh great. The police." Said an annoyed LazyScot, as he slowed the PickUp and steered it to the side of the road.

"Do you think stopping is wise? I'm sure we could outrun them." asked the BatAI?

"I am not engaging in a road race with the cops if I'm driving a pickup stuffed full of pandaborg, and invisible passenger, an overactive AI and an absinthe fairy living in an origami Klein bottle, whilst I'm towing a bunch of invisible llamas."

"And you think it would be better letting the police stop you with this menangerie? Remember the llamas are stolen."

"We're free llamas; we can't owned or stolen" shouted the llamas in unison from the trailer.

"Shut-up. The lot of you." Said LazyScot as he stopped the pickup, and waited for the officer to walk over, before winding the window down. "How can I help you officer? I'm sorry, but not being a native of your country, I don't know if I've done anything wrong…"

"We're looking for some dangerous people; you and your vehicle match the description. And don't think your British accent will get you out of trouble."

"That's unusual; it certainly works for us. Or at least leaves people stupefied enough for us to walk away." Said the effectively invisible Charles.

"What the…" said the officer, just managing to catch sight of Charles' fading mouth. " " he finished with.

"I'm sorry officer, but did you say you were looking for several people. There's only me in the pickup. Well, and the Panda toys."

" " said the officer, still looking at where he couldn't see Charles.

"Hello, my name is Charles. Could I be of assistance?" said Charles.

" " replied the officer before collapsing in a very unprofessional manner and scattering various devices on the ground in the process.

"Aww; I wonder if he's hurt?" Said Zelda, and flew out in her Klein bottle to see if she could help.

"Arggh.. My eyes. My head. That's impossible. That can't be. It's impossible." Screamed the officer as he looked at Zelda's origami Klein bottle. He then proceeded to sit clutching his head in his hands.

"I don't suppose we should leave him here like this." Said pandaborg-B getting out and moving over to the officers side.

"Oh great. And a talking panda. I've either lost my head or….." he paused. "No; that's not possible. It's just a website. If that was the case I would really have lost my head."

"What?" said Lazyscot, feeling his idea of just quietly talking to the office and driving on was not turning out quite as he planned it.

"Oh look." Said Zelda, pointing her origami Klein bottle. "That looks like a CyBook."

"Hmm… It is. "said Pandborg-B picking it up, and turning it on.

"That's mine." Said the officer, and he at last remembered he was an armed member of law enforcement and reached for his gun. "Put that down and put you hands…. Er Paws on the bonnet….. How on earth did you pick up and turn on the reader with only paws?"

"Practice. Hmmm. Locke, Hume, Smith. All from Gutenberg as well. And almost all the Terry Pratchett's. I'm impressed" said Pandaborg-B, notably not placing his paws on the bonnet as asked.

"I asked you to place your paws on the bonnet. Now do that." Said the office slowly regaining his composure.

"Why?"

"Because I say so. And I have the right to require you to do this. Now do it."

"No."

"I'd recommend not arguing with him. You won't win.", said Charles, slowly appearing and standing up.

The officer looked visibly shaken by being reminded about the invisible mouth that he'd managed to forget about; and even more shaken by the image of the appearing llama. "This can't be; you can't be from ….." he muttered, and the thought for a moment under the gaze of Pandaborg-B. "What are you doing? And why are you doing it?" he eventually.

"Ahh. A right question." said Pandaborg-B. At that the officer raised his gun and pointed it. "I wouldn't do that; we might have to acutelate you…" The officer's gun started shaking, but his finger tightened on the trigger, and the pandaborg jumped.

"I'm sorry, but this is for the best." Said Pandaborg-B at the same time as LazyScot shouted no.

After a few seconds of silence, the Pandborg parted to reveal one of their own, still wearing his uniform.

"You were right. It's obvious now. This is what I was born for." Said the Pandaborg Policeman. "I'd better call in, or they'll be after you." With that he returned to his car and used the radio. And then returned to the pickup. "Right. Let's get off and finish the shopping. And Maybe I can pop into the Cybercafe and post to my favourite website…"

" " replied the stunned LazyScot, who then regained his voice and added "Well at least we've got those handcuffs Taylor wanted now. I'd rather have bought them though." My sanity was definitely not an asset here, thought LazyScot, as the crowded pickup headed down the road to the mall.
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