Quote:
Originally Posted by jhempel24
I think somebody is of the "it's popular so it's rubbish" persuasion 
Over analyzing things never really gets you anywhere in fiction.
Here's what I got from it:
He's winding up to the top of a spiral staircase, listening to the children playing down below. Squealing, like with laughter and screams of fun and happiness....they could squeal because they are being tortured like pigs, but then they wouldn't be happy would they?
It was a perfect first sentence. It set the tone of the entire story, and was perfectly readable and understandable.
I think I should take my avatar's advice though. |
Agreed, there's nothing wrong with the sentence, in my eyes. But if someone doesn't like it, simply move on and read something else. I think the comment about the first sentence was way too harsh.