Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Tyson
"The children were playing while Holston climbed to his death; he could hear them squealing as only happy children do. While they thundered about frantically above, Holston took his time, each step methodical and ponderous, as he wound his way around and around the spiral staircase, old boots ringing out on metal treads."
It is pretty stupid from the first sentence.
Only happy children squeal? Wrong. Do children generally thunder? Nope. Above where? Above him? Wound his way? On a staircase? Around and Around would mean you ended up back where you started from. Boots ring on a _surface_ not on their own treads. Because of whatever the staircase might be made from and the composition of their soles. There is no indication of the staircase surface - or does he mean the treads are the staircase, not the boots? The latter being what people would assume as who talks about staircase treads? A terrible mangled sentence. Unclear, hamhanded and lacking.
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You are overthinking it; "as only happy children do" does not imply that children squeal only when they're happy, but that this kind of squeal happens only when children are happy. Anyway, t's a novel, not a technical document that needs to be over analysed and scrutinized. I can see no pleasure in reading the way you do.