Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyScot
And with that, we bring you a word from our proud sponsor, Montsnmags Enterprises, purveyors of unreasonably priced equipment for Universe and Temporal Domination....
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Scene: Newsroom, with newsreader hurriedly scanning various items of paper being rapidly pushed on the desk. In the background, various graphics are changing as an overstretched art department attempts to respond to three mutually contradicatory instructions as to what the images to be provided should look like.
Voice-over: We interrupt this interruption to take you immediately to the MR-TV rolling news channel for an announcement of great importance regarding a serious threat to the saftey of the state.
The shot cuts to a medium close-up of the newsreader, with an incomprehensible graphic, made from extremely cheap clip art, of pandas, people and an improbable vehicle. Somewhat flustered, the newsreader taps the papers on the desk, and attempts to acquire the required news-reader calm.
"Welcome to MR-TV rolling news. We interrupt your normal programs to bring you news of an escape of some extremely dangereous and highly armed...."
The newsreader's eyes go wide at the text on the tele-prompter, stops reading and looks to the side, pressing hand to earpiece.
"Jim, what on earth is all this about. I've just read the briefing. The only people they're dangerous too is themselves; they're not even armed. Unless you count an arbroath smokie, a couple of toy pandas and a few bags of sweets and a bunch of electronic reader devices. I'm a newsreader, Jim, not a propaganda purveyor. What? No, I've no idea what an arbroath smokie is.... 
"My apologies for that interruption. We interrupt your normal programs to bring you news of an escape of some
extremely dangereous and
very highly armed individuals. It is vital that these individuals are captured as soon as possible, dead or alive, and returned to the establishment from which they escaped. It is impossible to understate the devasting impact these people could have on our state, our freedoms and our way of life. It is even possible that they may be plotting against our leaders.
"As Govenor Fudd is currently completely occupied dealing with the on-going "wascally wabbit" threat to the state, this crisis has been delegated to the mysterious commissioner "D". Commissioner D has asked members of the public not to approach these individuals nor provide them any assistance whatsoever. However, if possible, members of the public are requested that they open fire on anyone who meets their descriptions. These individuals will be acting in a very suspicious manner, and may well give themselves away by attempting to plug in large numbers of electronic devices to recharge them.
"Should you see any persons or things meeting these descriptions, you are asked to contact the authorities immediately."