oh sparrow, that sounds HORRIBLE !!! i really hope you feel better soon. maybe you could ask marc to ask adrien (the invisible and inadvertently violent gibbon) to do something about your inconsiderate and rude colleagues ? i'm sure he could arrange for them to be unable to speak for awhile as well... at least until you are better...
please torture us with as many excruciating puns as you like, we are all here to help you...
good luck !