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An easy guide to keeping political news in
perspective ...
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people
who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who
think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who
think they should run the country, and who
are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they
ought to run the country but don't really
understand The New York Times. They do,
however, like their statistics shown in pie
charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who
wouldn't mind running the country, if they could
find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave
Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose
parents used to run the country and did a
poor job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people
who aren't too sure who's running the country
and don't really care as long as they can get
a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who
don't care who is running the country as long
as they do something really scandalous,
preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are
running another country, but need the baseball
scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people
who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone
is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they
stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist,
atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal
aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided
of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped
in line at the grocery store.
12. The Seattle Times is read by people who have
recently caught a fish and need something to
wrap it in.
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