Bringing your characters to life
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10-13-2012, 01:04 AM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wandering God's glorious hills, valleys and plains.
Device: Orig Droid, Kindle KB-3G, Archos 43, Samsung S3, Chromebook
First I love trains so I am predisposed to like this.
Second, I think you are aiming this for the less than 12 set,
but your language is sometimes too adult.
Keep your framework, but work on the language and the expressions.
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